Narcissism and the spirit behind it.

The Holy Spirit put it on my heart, to write about narcissism because, this is also where I had a lot of experience. 

In life I have met and dealt with few people I can say that not only do they have narcissistic traits (which we all do have) but these are “full blown Narcissists” 

Who is a Narcissist? 

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. They lack empathy and is always difficult to have a good loving relationship with these kinds of people.  

Bible talked about these kinds of people, as people with so much pride and extremely selfish! Proverbs 8:13 tells us that God hates pride.  

From my own experience, narcissistic person is someone who is extremely self-centred, lacks the ability to put himself or herself in another person’s shoe, extremely manipulative and feels very important, having the illusion that other people cannot survive life without him/her.  

I have dealt with these kinds of persons and I have also watched a lot of videos and studied a lot about narcissism and why such people even exist. At one time in my life, I dealt with someone who was extremely difficult and manipulative. It doesn’t matter how good or how much you sacrifice for this person; it was never enough. Back then, I didn’t know what narcissism was, but I knew that this person’s behaviour was abnormal. I started googling all the behaviours and they matched exactly the behaviours of a “covert narcissist” Everything I read online about covert narcissist described this person with 100% accuracy. I studied and learnt so much online about narcissists and how to treat them. But when I encountered the Lord Jesus, He opened my eyes and showed me the spirit behind narcissism in a dream. He made me understand that narcissistic people, even though it’s almost impossible for them to change and we were told to avoid and block them, that there is actually a spirit behind narcissism and that the narcissists are people who are being used as vessels for the spirit to attack and torture other people through them. And one thing I noticed about narcissists is that they don’t even know or believe that there is something wrong with them. And that is why it is difficult for them to change. Because, they are being blinded by the spirit from seeing all the hurt and damage they are causing people they are in a relationship with. I mean how can someone work towards changing and becoming a better person, when they didn’t even know that they have a problem? Another thing I noticed about the few Christian narcissists that I have met is, that they always claim that God loves them and that all their blessings are from God. Because they believe that they are special. But one thing the narcissists didn’t know is that not every blessing comes from God.  

When I started studying about God’s Blessings, how He blesses people and why God will bless a narcissist to use the blessings to harm other people. I came to the realisation that devil do bless people too. Infact, the Bible in 2 Corinthians 4:4 called devil the god of this world. Even when the devil tempted our Lord Jesus Christ, in Matthew 4:8-9, he offered him all the kingdoms of this world and their glory if He (Jesus) will bow down and worship him. So that means that the devil has the ability to give wealth and material things to people too. Infact, he is the one who influences the narcissists and uses them as vessels to oppress God’s people, so definitely he will equip them and give them all they need for their oppression.  

How to know if your blessings are from God is the fruits your blessings produce. The Bible says in the Book of Proverbs 10:22 that “the Blessings from the Lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow”. So, the fruits of the blessings of the narcissists does not qualify as what the Bible describes as the Blessings from God. If you have an open-door but uses it to manipulate and hurt people, the blessings don’t seem to come from God. I have seen people that had open-doors to relocate to better countries, they will go there and start prostitution, yet claiming it was God that opened the door for them. I have seen people who scam, manipulate people, steal their hard-earned money; go to church and tell everyone how God just blessed them. Meanwhile, the people they scammed and stole their money have become depressed, suicidal and some even end up committing suicide. Do these kinds of blessings come from God? I think I will do another post on God’s blessings vs devil’s blessings but until then let’s continue on the topic of “Narcissism” 

In the dream I had, when God showed me the spirit behind narcissism. It appeared very huge and powerful to me with a lot of trained muscles. I was very small beside it. He was following me around. I entered shopping mall filled with a lot of people. He will be following me around, pushing, hitting and nudging me. But he will do those when no one was looking. At a point I got angry and started shouting and attacking him back. Due to how I was angry and shouting when hitting him back, everyone noticed me hitting him and I even gave him scratches while he pretended to be innocent. He reported me to everyone and the security at the mall. But when I tried to defend myself and tell them how he first attacked me, no one listened to my own story. I was telling them “How can you believe that I just attacked this huge thing, that is physically more powerful than I am, for no reason?” Nobody heard anything I was saying. He was believed because he had witnesses and no one saw him attack me. After this experience, God showed me someone in my life who I believe was a covert narcissist and revealed to me that this is the spirit behind that person’s behaviour. Of which that person behaves exactly same way. When I studied further about this; I realised that these people are not in control of their actions and even when everyone is advising to block them and cut off every contact with them, I believe as Christians, we should ask ourselves what Jesus would do or what he did when he had someone in his circle who exhibited some of these behaviours? Yes, Judas Iscariot was one of His disciples and a friend of Jesus. Even at the last-minute Judas was betraying Jesus, He (Jesus) called him “Friend” Matthew 26:50. I believe that blocking a narcissist and cutting them off is playing same evil games with the devil and he (the devil) enjoys it. Because we block most of the time, out of anger and bitterness and that is exactly how the devil wants us feel.  

Why do devil send narcissists to our lives, especially to those with good heart and people that have bigger purpose and God’s calling? The answer is very simple. The devil wants to use the narcissists to distract us from our God’s given calls and purposes. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or have one around as family member, the time you will invest in developing a relationship with God, discovering your purpose and working towards it, will be used up for quarrels, arguments, accusations, gaslighting and confusions. That’s why many people that stayed in very long relationship with narcissists end up not fulfilling their purposes, some end up depressed, committing suicide and some in mental hospitals. So, because the devil knows that he cannot change our God’s given purposes or stop our calling, the only thing he can do is delay it. By sending us a narcissist he can distract us from achieving our missions here on earth.  

But despite all these things. The narcissists are people that didn’t even know that they are being used by the devil to torment and block other people’s destiny. They do not understand the degree of damage they are being used to cause people and because they are being used as vessels by unclean spirits, I believe that instead of treating them same way they treated us, we should instead forgive and keep praying for them to understand the emotional harm they are causing and repent. And forgiveness does not mean we should reconcile with them. Reconciliation should only happen where there is true repentance which is not impossible with God.  

So, should we allow them close to us? No! For our own mental health-wellbeing and to avoid distractions, we should always try to distance ourselves from narcissists. 

I have heard everyone saying that is impossible for a narcissist to change but I don’t believe so. What is not possible is for us to change them by being nice to them. Because the narcissistic spirit feeds on people’s good heart. We can never be good enough or treat a narcissist good enough to make them change, because we are only humans and it’s only God who changes a person. We can’t do God’s Job, but we can be praying for them from distance, because Ephesians 6:12 tells us that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places”  

Our Prayers should be for God to open their eyes so they can see the harm they are causing to people; and maybe, they will repent and seek true deliverance from God. 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment and see you next time.